Dumped over dinner: Why DO people end relationships in restaurants?
"Paul Simon may have once sang about '50 Ways To Leave Your Lover', but he omitted the popular choice of ending it in an eatery," says our Maitre D.
Work in a bar or restaurant for any length of time and you’re bound to witness people do things that would far better suit a different time or place. I’ve seen wills drafted on tablecloths, punch-ups, and hanky-panky in the loos of course, but for some customers, a restaurant appears to be the ideal place in which to end a relationship.
Just drop off the key, Lee…
I recall a couple coming in for dinner one evening - they’d requested a quiet, romantic table and we did our best to accommodate. All seemed to be going well, hands held across the table, gazing into one another’s eyes, but then things took a turn. Rings came off fingers, starters were ignored and before the mains were cleared, he’d cleared off.
Not only did he leave her, he left her with the bill as well. The lady in question was actually very cool about this; she finished her meal, even stayed for dessert, and feeling for her we didn't charge her for the food, only asking she pay for the expensive bottle of wine he had ordered when they sat down.
Those of us who witnessed the break-up wondered whether he'd planned it all along. That he was going to end it over dinner that evening. Which of course begged the question: why would you do that? Why take her to dinner to do the dirty deed?
A busy restaurant is about as public as it can get and however secluded a table may be, if it’s not your fellow diners eavesdropping you can bet your waiter or waitress will be.
You DO need to be coy, Roy…
One theory: perhaps like those people who choose to reveal on Jeremy Kyle that they used to be a man, dumping in public may avoid a violent verbal or physical reaction.
No one has ever thrown a chair at his or her partner in the restaurants I’ve worked in, but there’s been the odd slap around the face so it sure isn’t foolproof if you’re concerned about black eyes. Violent or not, it’s surely the lowest way to tell a soon-to-be-erstwhile lover that you’re leaving.
Slip out the back, Jack…
Still, you’ve got to laugh…
A friend once worked in a bar, a couple came in and sat down, ordered drinks and engaged in what was obviously a fraught and emotional conversation resulting in her standing up and walking out.
The guy was in bits and to add insult to injury, just at the moment she gently closed the door behind her, “All By Myself” by Eric Carmen popped up on shuffle over the bar’s sound system. You couldn’t have made it up.
Make a new plan, Stan…
Ever wishing to be helpful, The Plate Captain spoke to a therapist friend and proffers a few thoughts for those of you that are considering eating as part of the final act.
“Basically there is no good way to break up with someone though taking them to a restaurant might sweeten the pill, avoid a scene and make the dumper feel better about themselves. There is a strong relationship between love and food – so this is the last time I feed you."
Morally dubious perhaps, but sometimes the best thing to do is just lie. ‘You’re perfect, too good for me, you deserve better, etc’.”
Tell a white lie, Guy…
But are you guilty? Have you taken your now ex out to dinner to break the news, or been that lone drinker, spurned, sobbing into your glass and lumbered with a hefty bill? Finally here’s a list of 50 ways celebrities have left their significant others you might want to avoid trying too.
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