Side dishes are a con

Side dishes are becoming increasingly expensive and are also shrinking in size. So surely they're just one big con?

Sometimes we're all a little guilty of listening to the rumble in our stomachs a little too much. For somewhere in the middle of battling off undying hunger and being overwhelmed by all the choice on a menu, we tend to order over the amount we require. 

'Will you have a side with that, Madam?’ is often a question I respond with, 'Why not'. And if I don't say that? I'll have a very good look at the different options. 

But that's when the fun stops. Or at least, increasingly so, I feel the 'side menu' is where supper starts to develop a sour taste. 

Price hike 

These days, it's not uncommon to be faced with a set of choices which are all marked above a reasonable 'side dish' price. Granted, every restaurant owns its own relative price-scheme, but of late, side dishes have followed their main course counterparts into becoming a rather expensive indulgence. 

I'm content spending £3 on a bowl of fries if the dish it is accompanying, say, a steak, is marked at £10. And I'm happy to add a £3.50 bowl of sautéed broccoli and green beans to a £15 black bream fillet.

In fact, I'm happy to add vegetables and appetising sides to just about any dish. Admittedly, I’m one of those who excites herself into being hungry at the sight of options. 

But it's when side dishes start to appear above £8, £10, £11, that my alarm bells begin to rage. Not least because when they arrive, and are nothing close to being a plentiful dish (despite them costing nearly half the price of the main platter), I begin to realise that side dishes are a con. 

A con 

It can be a little infuriating when waiters ask if you might prefer some vegetables to go with your order. Polite as it may be, it does make one wonder why anyone should be paying extra for something that really ought to already be on the plate.

When they suggest that it might be a good idea, since 'the main dish does not come with any greens', I can’t help but feel trapped - always on that rumbling stomach - into ordering something else in order to sate the appetite.

I put it on a par with erroneously browsing a supermarket on an empty stomach: everything will be infinitely more appetising, and you'll probably find that a lot more than usual gets bought.

The side dish hurdle is similar. If someone is suggesting 'there won't be much' on your plate, your hunger almost automatically adds those £6 or £8 dishes for you without stopping to ask for permission. 

New fads 

Taking it to a new level altogether, some restaurants have now made it their business to take orders for 'extras' from every diner.

Take, for example, Gourmet Burger Kitchen and its rival Byron burger. Both restaurants offer very good, very succulent burgers which come in an array of disguises. But when you order one of these bunned-wonders, well, that's all you'll get. A porcelain-white plate and a burger. So empty is the plate around it, that a distracting splurge of ketchup and/or mayo (or whatever is your burger poison), is a must.  

It's imperative to order yourself a side of chips or onion rings to substantiate a meal which is probably - with drinks involved - looking at costing £15. Most will think this a good price for a well-tasting burger and I, in some respects, would agree. But what happens if you leave the restaurant feeling peckish? 

The old days 

Side dishes have always been popular, not least because as I mentioned earlier, we all enjoy indulgence.

But gone are the traditional pub-like ways, where plates would arrive - steaming hot from the oven - with bits of everything falling off over the edges. OK, so presentation marks go down the drain, but is that really important? I'd rather tuck into a meal whose symmetrical proportions are destroyed by the abundance of produce, than a perfectly lined up, arty single burger on a plate.

What’s upsetting is that it is in pubs that most of these recent side dish price hikes are noticeable. Under the guise of the ‘gastro pub’, everything has become more expensive, making the ordering of bubble & squeak, mushy peas and onion rings, a wallet-paining choice.

Beware 

Not every restaurant is guilty. But the next time you peruse the outward facing menu outside an eaterie as you’re walking past, make sure to glance down at the side dishes.

For even if waiters won’t readily admit it themselves, side dishes have become the equivalent of a shop’s 99p counter purchases: small things, cheaper than main goods, always seem a good idea at the last minute.

Also worth your attention:

Stop starving us and give us proper portions!

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Side dish - Antony Worrall Thompson's fruit and nut pilaf