25 things you should never do at a restaurant
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Don't make these restaurant faux pas ever again
Whether you're out on a date or enjoying a meal with your friends and family, there's nothing worse than somebody with bad table manners ruining your meal. According to a study, 60% of people have been put off by their dining partner's restaurant etiquette so we've narrowed down the 25 things you should never do at a restaurant, from simple errors, like not knowing which knife and fork to use, to outright rude behaviour.
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Arriving very late for your reservation
No restaurant, especially on a busy night, can hold your table forever. Most restaurants will usually have a grace period of around 15 minutes, however, if you arrive an hour late, don't expect the table to still be available. If you know you're going to be running late, call ahead and notify the restaurant so they can adjust the timings accordingly.
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Not cancelling a reservation
Many restaurants are counting on your party to show up. They've ordered the necessary amount of food, prepped it, are ready to serve and it's very likely they've refused other diners because of existing reservations. If you don't show up to your reservation, the food goes to waste as the table might not get filled – this is particularly true in smaller restaurants that have limited seating space and will rarely have walk-ins.
Not asking about dishes you're not familiar with
Ever pointed at a dish on the menu because you’re not sure how to pronounce it? You’re not alone. With increasingly cosmopolitan menus and greater availability of different cuisines than ever before, chances are there is going to be something on the menu that you won't be familiar with or won't know how to pronounce correctly. If you're not sure, just ask the waiting staff rather than try and fail to pronounce it yourself or order something you're not sure about. Here's a nifty guide to decoding menu terms.
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Using the wrong knife and fork
The array of cutlery in high-end restaurants can often leave people confused. Follow one basic rule, and you’ll be fine – start with the utensils farthest from your plate and work inwards. Salad and starter knife, fork and spoon will always be on the outside. The knife and fork nearest your plate are for the main course. If there's a spoon, fork or both above your plate, that's for dessert.
Licking your knife
This one should really go without saying. No matter how delicious the food on your plate, don't ever lick your knife. Besides, you could end up cutting yourself by accident and ruining the whole meal, not only for yourself but for the rest of the table too.
Using the wrong cheese knife
Cheese knives come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Wide knives and mini cleavers are for cutting hard cheese, like Parmesan, Cheddar and Manchego. These should be placed above the cheese and pushed down vertically. Thin knives are used for slicing semi-hard cheeses like Edam or Gouda, and pointed knives are for cutting and spreading semi-soft varieties like Brie and Camembert.
Putting your napkin back on the table
Once seated, you should place your folded napkin on your lap and leave it there until you have finished your meal. Etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, told Forbes: “If you leave the table during a meal, place your napkin, loosely folded, on the seat of your chair. A napkin is never returned to the table until you're ready to leave."
Using your napkin as a bib
It should go without saying, but using your napkin for anything other than wiping your mouth is a complete no-no. Whitmore also advises against tucking your napkin into your shirt as a bib. Many ramen and seafood restaurants, where eating the food is messy, provide special bibs to prevent you from soiling your clothes so there's still no need to use your napkin for any other purposes than intended.
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Taking someone else's bread plate and water glass
Not sure whose is whose? You’ll find your bread plate on your left, above your forks and your water glass on your right. The butter knife will either be served with the breadbasket or, more commonly, lie on top of your bread plate.
Buttering your entire bread roll at once
Even if you’re really hungry, resist the urge to attack your entire bread roll and butter it all at once. Etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts told the Huffington Post: “The golden rule of eating bread is to break off a small piece, hold it in your fingers (not your palm) and butter it one bite at a time, using a butter knife if one is lying on your bread plate.”
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Using the wrong wine glass: red
In formal restaurants you may find the red and white wine glasses have already been placed on your table. So which is which? Red wine glasses (pictured right) tend to be bigger and taller and with a larger bowl. This gives the wine more space to oxidise or ‘breathe’, thereby accentuating the wine’s aroma and flavour.
Using the wrong wine glass: white
White wine glasses usually have a smaller bowl to prevent oxidation – this helps maintain a cooler temperature for longer and preserves the floral aromas. Champagne will be served in a flute most of the time to stop the bubbles from escaping too quickly and prevent it from going flat.
Not checking the wine properly
It can be a bit of an awkward or intimidating process but tasting the wine before it’s served is a long-established ritual in most restaurants. Of course, it's not about checking you like the taste – you need to confirm it isn’t corked. This happens when compounds in the cork taint the wine, giving it a musty taste and aroma like damp towels or wet newspaper.
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Raising your voice to get the waiter's attention
There is absolutely no need to treat your waiter as an inferior or be rude to them. They are there to help you have a good time and enjoy your meal so just wait until they pass by you or catch your eye. You're not the only table they need to serve and raising your voice won't help you get served quicker.
Snapping your fingers at the waiter
Same applies for snapping fingers at your waiter. This is just plain rude and shows no respect towards the restaurant or people serving you.
Seasoning food without tasting it
How exactly do you know that your dish is underseasoned or needs more pepper? Try it before adjusting the seasoning and you might find that you don't really need any extra salt or pepper in your dish. Many high-end restaurants won't even have salt and pepper shakers on the table as they believe the food shouldn't arrive at your table lacking seasoning.
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Speaking with your mouth full
This is impolite in general, let alone in public. Don't literally bite off more than you can chew and let other people speak while you're eating. No one needs to see half-chewed up food in your mouth or, even worse, bits of food flying out of your mouth.
Checking your emails and leaving your phone on the table
Two studies conducted at the University of Essex revealed that if a mobile phone is showing during a conversation, it causes people to feel less positive towards the other person. Not only is a phone a distraction, you’re less likely to have meaningful conversations with the people you’re with. Unless you're expecting an urgent call and let other people know when you sit down at the table, leave your phone in your pocket or your bag and pay attention to who you're with.
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Touching up make up, brushing your hair or using a toothpick at the table
Not only is this bad manners, it's also unsanitary. No one wants to eat food with loose hair, scalp particles or enjoy a meal at the next table during your grooming session. You don't want to try using a knife or a spoon to reapply lipstick – not only does this look silly, it also shows a lack of basic table manners. If you need to touch up your make up after finishing a meal, excuse yourself and do so in the bathroom.
Eating soup the wrong way
Always scoop soup away from you and try not to lean over your bowl. When you’re almost finished, tilt the bowl away from you slightly. This makes it much easier to scoop up the last remaining mouthfuls. And whatever you do, don’t slurp. While it’s acceptable in some countries, like Japan, most people find the noise unbearable.
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Eating before everyone is served
Most restaurants will send food out at the same time anyway, however, if you're sat at a bigger table and it takes the waiting staff a couple of trips to the hot plate to serve everyone, wait before you tuck in. Some restaurants, like dim sum places, will bring out food as it's ready – it's fine to eat it then and there as the quality will decline over time. If you've ordered sharing dishes for the whole table, wait until all the dishes have been served before tucking in unless told otherwise by the waiter.
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Forgetting to put your cutlery together
If you'd like to pause mid-meal or are finished with your plate, don't ever put your dirty cutlery back on the table. To pause, leave your knife and fork in an inverted V-shape. If you're finished, then place the cutlery side by side, either straight on the plate or at a slight angle – this will signal to waiters that they can take the plates away.
Overstaying your welcome
Restaurants make money from flipping tables so unless you're going to order any more food or drinks, pay your bill and leave. It's even worse if you're hanging around after you've paid the bill already – obviously don't feel like you have to rush through your meal, however, most restaurants will reserve your table for an hour and a half, maybe two hours. Haven't finished your drinks? Get up and ask if you can have a seat at the bar to finish your conversation.
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Leaving an insufficient tip
It’s standard to leave around 20% of the bill (before tax) in the US. Elsewhere around the world, it’s fairly common to leave between 10-15%. However, many European restaurants in countries like France and the UK already add a service charge (usually around 12%) to your bill, which means you don't have to leave a tip. Interestingly, tipping is not expected in China, Korea or Hong Kong and to leave a tip in Japan is considered rude.
Read more: avocado and other most surprising things ever banned in restaurants
Eating out at the weekends
Love eating out at the weekend? It’s just a shame so many other people have the same idea. That’s why Bill Mann, the general manager of Qui in Austin, Texas recommends venturing out on Monday and Tuesday nights instead. "You have the best experience, the shortest wait and the most attention early in the week," he told Bon Appetit, "If there's a restaurant you're really excited about trying, you'll have the best opportunity to geek out if you don't go on its busiest night."
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